I can safely say that my depression is back at about 75%. My apartment is a mess and I had to lie to my mum about it today. I am kind of over all of the force positivity for the moment. I love telling people why I love them but I am just getting tired. I want to feel better and this has been an amazing stretch and possibly the longest I have stayed positive in my life. I’ve been missing my old life lately and things are just resurfacing. I have so many dating options: two at home in NH, one I work with and possibly one more I work with and someone I know from college. It feels quite empty. My upswing involved me being busy all of the time and I still consider myself super lucky to have the people in my life that I do. I am just tired and I took two days off for the beginning of august to be home in nh but I may just work through them, because I know with what would have been my 9 year anniversary coming up I am going to break soon. I have infinity people to interview at work this week which is nice because I like the hr staff and I like doing interviews with them but we need people bad and I don’t like weeding through bad candidates. I am just tired and I wish I were on vacation with someone who loves me making out near an ocean or body of water.